One of my all time favorite books is Under The Tuscan Sun, by Frances Mayes. Ms. Mayes has written several other books that have followed her enormously successful memoir, but the first is still the best. I think it is due to the fact that in the first book, she was writing quite poetically about falling in love with Tuscany and her new town, Cortona. The other books are a continuation of that love and poetic observations of life in Italy, but to me, her incredible publishing success seems to have gotten in the way of her original goal, which was to immerse herself in the Tuscan lifestyle via the restoration of her villa in Cortona. What she professed to love most about living in Tuscany---the simplicity, the rhythym of life in tune with the seasons, the dependability of family and neighbors---is exactly what her ambitions seem to be preventing her from enjoying.
Frances Mayes is a phenomenal writer. She can write about food, furniture, or flowers in the most interesting and amazing ways. She can describe the beauty and sensuality of the Tuscan countryside like no other. She finds the joy and beauty and essence in that lifestyle and can distill it into an understandable form. With her great success, she was able to leave her job as a professor in San Francisco, where she and her husband also live, and become a full time writer. She often complained about the hectic life she had as a professor, so I am sure that was a good thing for her to do.
But what does she do with the newfound fame and fortune? Does she retire to the Tuscan countryside to embrace this lifestyle she values and promotes? NO. She gets involved in buying and restoring yet another property in Tuscany, this one even more ambitious, she acquires more land to increase their olive oil business, she continues to add more and more changes/furniture/gardens/etc to her current villa, she develops a furniture line for Drexel Heritage, she continues to write, and she does more and more and more. She acquires more stuff and more "friends" and more responsibilities. And, get this, she comments on how busy her life now is in Tuscany. I sound like I'm criticizing her choices, but I'm not; I'm simply baffled by them. Why is she doing this to herself? How could she forget why she fell in love with the Tuscan lifestyle? I am certain that there isn't one typical Tuscan who would ever live the way she does. They would think she's pazzo, crazy.
This begs the question for all of us: why do we do these things to ourselves? Why do we let our ambitions interfere with living life? Perhaps Ms. Mayes' love of restoration, and all the other things she does, is the way she wants to live. But if it makes you crazy, as she often says it does, with all the stress and phone calls and time issues, then why do it? Why not say, how lucky am I to be able to sit back and enjoy my life in a beautiful villa in Tuscany and an equally gorgeous home in San Francisco, [oops, just found out after posting this that she now lives in South Carolina and sold her house in SF] with no money worries, no need to work, no need to juggle my time between work and pleasure. How lucky is she to have the opportunity to live a life of relaxation and enjoyment of family and real friends. And she's letting it pass her by.
When I realized how sick I was, one of the first things I thought of was how the only place I wanted to be was at home with my husband and son. I didn't think, gee, I'm going to take a trip around the world in case I don't live much longer. I realized quite clearly that when you get down to the nitty gritty, its the everyday simple things that make life wonderful. I know this is obvious stuff. Basic stuff. But when ambitions, no matter how big or small, start to interfere with basic home life, we've got to take a step back and reevaluate. I know I have to do this, even now.
So, as for my medical progress, no big developments. Another treatment yesterday, and another step closer to my goal of beating this alien in my blood. Living with my disease is akin to the daily changes in your body while pregnant, without the joy. Every day your body is changing. Ankles bigger or smaller; stomach hurting or not; headache and blurry vision; or, blessedly, sometimes just feeling almost normal. That is how I live now, so I try to ignore the discomforts as much as possible. Enjoy your weekend Under The Tuscan Sun, and enjoy your family and friends. They are the best part of life!
