Three Down, Three To Go

Yesterday my doctor made me very unhappy. He told me that I still have to go through three more courses of Velcade before I have a stem cell transplant in late September. Although that has been the plan all along, I really thought (there I go, thinking again; bad idea) that since my light chains are now in a proper ratio that Dr. Porter would say, “Good news, you’re ready now!” Not so fast, Ms. Day By Day.

So why do I feel like my term at Bellyache Jail was just extended by three months? I had no reason to expect otherwise. I trust my doctor, completely. However, my Inner Child is screaming, “I want those plasma cells dead, and I want them dead now!” My irrational fears are ruining my calm. Of course Mature Me says, “I will do whatever my doctor says is best and I will cooperate fully with the treatment plan.” But…

I don’t wanna !!!!!   

Okay, I always try to find the silver lining in every cloud. I’m trying hard. So far all I’ve got is this: there won’t be reruns on television in late September when I’m confined to my hospital room. The new programs should be starting by then. Years ago I was in the hospital during the summer (this was way pre-internet, cell phones, etc.), and my only entertainment, a television, was an instrument of torture.  Although I think current television programming is abysmal under the best of circumstances, summer programming truly sets the bar. All I can say is that I hope HUP has the Food Network and HGTV!