As we enter autumn, I find that I’m growing more apprehensive about my upcoming challenge, namely the stem cell transplant. I was ready to rock n' roll in the spring, but now, ummmm, I’m not so keen about it, although I will definitely go through with it. However......It can be dangerous. It will definitely make me very sick. I will lose all of my hair. It will cause my family to be inconvenienced at the least, and turned upside down at the worst. And it may not work completely, too. Did I mention that before? It is true. I may go through the whole thing and find out that I have to go back on chemo again. In fact, I’m just going to expect it, so that I won’t be devastated by news of an incomplete result. But I have to take the chance, because it is the best way to kill the amyloid factory and get a complete remission of disease.
As any English student learns, seasons are often used as metaphors for different stages of life. Spring is childhood, summer is adolescence, fall is adulthood, and winter represents old age. For my medical challenges, spring was the time of discovery of the disease, summer has represented the “easy” treatment, fall will be the “serious” work, and finally, winter represents the time to rest and restore my health. (If the transplant gets postponed till winter, then I’ll have to rethink my metaphors!) Autumn may be beautiful, but for me it is becoming a time for trepidation, to wonder what lies around the bend.
However, I will look to Cheryl (see her blog at Cheryl's Amyloid Adventures ), whom I mentioned in my blog a few months ago, for a role model. At day +80 past her transplant, she biked 12 miles! She is active and feeling stronger. I can only hope to do so well, and I will try to be as positive and determined as she has been. Cheryl is a real example of the power of positive thinking. I hope that I can follow her lead.
